Hygge and the Family

Hello again, it’s that time again when we chat all things hygge. This time, let’s have a thing about that one thing we all have in whatever form it may take…..the family.

At the very core of hygge, is the sense of togetherness and spending quality, simple time with the family and people you love. If you are a parent, then this is a no brainer when it comes to your children. Spending quality time with them in the present moment makes them into self confident, calm adults and that’s an amazing thing.

By giving your children some hyggelig - that time where you focus on them, snuggle down, light a candle, drink hot chocolate and really have time to chat and be with them with no distractions such as TV or digital devices, really helps to develop a feeling of togetherness, comfort, warmth, safety and happiness.

So how do we do this? Well, your time is the most important thing you can give to your children, and no, it doesn’t mean that you have to be at their beck and call 24 hours a day, but setting aside 30 minutes during the day, when you dedicate that time to them, is great. They will learn after a while, that that 30 minutes is theirs and that they have got your full attention. That’s the time to read a story together, paint a picture, draw or sit and chat. They will learn to value that time and will look forward to that time of the day. By taking that step to set time aside, it’s then really important to make sure that nothing stops you from doing that. Let other people know that at that time, you are with your children and that you can’t be available. It teaches your children that they are important and loved, and also that personal promises made to people, are sacred and meant to be kept.

Being a ‘hygge’ parent isn’t all about playing with your children and nothing else. It is also about sharing a sense of responsibility and being part of the family and that includes sharing in the chores and tasks that come with being part of the family. By encouraging them to help with the cleaning and tidying of the home gives them a sense of mutually working together and being part of a team and also helps them develop social survival skills that they need as they grow up and then move out and create their own home.

Now, I’m not saying that you get a toddler to make beds, etc., and also not many children like the thought of having to help out around the house, and naturally some people might think that asking children to help out is wrong and that is fine. But by choosing some age appropriate tasks, it really helps them understand that by working together, things get done quickly and then everyone can go and have fun.

You can actively encourage children to live in the present moment by pointing out the magic in everyday occurrences. Those small things that make you stop and look; sunlight streaming in through the window, the sound of a bird singing, a butterfly landing on a flower in the garden, those small everyday things that sometimes we take for granted.

Small mindfulness exercises can also be introduced to children. This helps them develop a sense of being able to listen to their emotions and calm themselves down. Have conversations with your children where you don’t dominate it, let them speak without judging them and cut out the drama in difficult conversations. Try not to get into situations where voices are raised and things are said in the heat of the moment……boy is THAT easier said than done! Use moments such as mealtimes, when all the family are together, to check in and see how they are doing, but keep it lighthearted and easy.

While spending time with your children is a vital part of creating a hygge home, it is also important to let your children have their freedom to play. This creates imagination, develops their creativity and lets them gain a sense of emotional strength.

It’s through play that children learn to engage with others, work as a team and interact with the world around them. Encourage them to play outside to gain a connection with nature, encourage them to play board games to learn how to win and lose, both important skills. When they win, they learn not to gloat and boast about it; when they lose, they learn not to sulk or get upset, but instead build resilience and a ‘try again’ attitude.

Being a hygge parent needn’t be a massive step, it’s what we do instinctively most of the time. So just enjoy the time and if any of this helps, then go for it.

For ideas for age appropriate home tasks, and mindfulness for children, plus how to encourage and foster free play, please visit my website www.stillmind.me

I am also adding Mindful Bedtime stories and Mindfulness Club for children on there as well. So please click and enjoy.

Next time, we will look at how to be hygge with food and drink. Until then, take care, stay safe and peaceful wishes.